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Showing posts from July, 2022

Hang On Sloop-E

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AUTHOR ABOARD HIS SAILBOAT   I was on deck, as my boat's charter, offered "Ugh. It's too hot, even for sex. ...My eyelids are sweating."  "We're on a sailboat, off shore, light winds," I offered, lifting a barefoot, dressed in only a light blue Speedo. "I see," the brawny potato planter, understood. "I'm getting out of this flannel shirt and jeans, and into my suit!" "You chartered the boat, I'm just the captain." He slid down the ladder into the salon. Our dodger was up for shade earlier, but it blocked too much wind, so we opted for a Bimini tarp. (Dang, I thought, as I watched him strip. This charter dude has a big firm beef-butt. Light back fur. Then, I saw his molten ball sac saggin' through his legs from behind!)  "Dang! Fella." I slipped. Hatch wide open, he had changed out of his too-warm attire, into a "skin-only" suit. From behind his physique was classic, v-back, thick neck, and tre

I opened a BnB on the Chesapeake Bay.

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 I normally see the lonely, red caisson light, as I drive towards the tunnel. For years I saw the lonely old lighthouse in the bay, from the highway towards the tunnel. Now, I see it as we sail across over the tunnel, toward our new BnB. The Coast Guard is giving me a 10 year Lease to make a viable, go at it. I'd always wanted to live in a light house, and this is my chance. The solar panels are installed, the cistern water treated, and now, I can start renovation/restorations.  Me and my partner are headed out, with the keys. We approached the dank old lighthouse on the drop ladder side, and tying the boat alongside, climbed up. "Bonanza! We oughta have a monopoly on Sea Gull shit!" Billy exclaimed, feigning excitement.  "Hope none is inside." I lamented,  not wanting to touch the handrails. I stepped in to our new BnB.  Billy stated, "What a dump!" Pantomiming Bette Davis with a cigarette. Though in disarray, and a little disrepair, it was cosy, and

Installing a Lift Kit

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 I was helping a shadetree mechanic "lift" his truck, both of us in sport shorts, and nothing else, due to the heat, and cool grass, in this bug-free Summer. We were underneath, prepping the jacks, we were loosening the bolts when he had a back spasm, mid-tug.  "Olaf, ...aw crap." "What's wrong, Ty? Break a bolt?" "Sticking his hands over his head, "nope, my back....can you pull me out." "Sure, sure, ...I pulled on his arms and soon had him sliding out from under the car." I expected to see his hairy pits and chest, even the grizzly fur on his sculpted abs, but not his pubes, not his all too thick wiener, and scraggly balls. "Nekkid from the ankles up...the fuck, buddy?" "They slid off, as I was sliding out...can you stick your knee in my back, as I roll to the side?" "Don't  you want to yank up your shorts first?" I asked. His hairy malf-moon rolled into view, "Fuck no, #1 I am in pain he

How to make Your Dick Look Shorter

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 ( Advice from a photographer) 1. ONLY PULL OUT A PORTION. No! Clothing blocks a significant amount of shaft length, get the garments out of the way. He's got 6", you see 2". 2. POINT IT STRAIGHT AT CAMERA. No. A visual phenomenon called foreshortening, in pictures becomes Foreskin Shortening, (take pics from side or halfway turned to side for best representation.) I have a comfortably long dick.  Here it is hard,  pointed right at camera. Same dick hard, from side. . 3.BLOCK PARTIALLY WITH HANDS. No! A partly curled up hand can have a thickness of 2"-3". When you're talking 5-1/2" average penis length, removing 3" of visible shaft is substantial. The poor fella on his right side will never know he's an uncut ginger! 4. BE TOTALLY FLACCID* (not if you can help it.) Let's face it the average dick gets bigger, with erection. S oft and floppy, is revealing the penis at its smallest. By getting it semi-erect, you've added some size, without

My 50th Story: Tire Changin'

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 Before I begin, I've had 1500+ readers. So this little confession, is a gift for my loyal readers. Please consider following my posts. What happened today. I had a fella in the parking lot at work, trying use a tiny bottle jack to raise his flat tire. "I have a jack you can use, in my car. Go ahead and bust yer nuts, while I run get it." I saw a half-hairy coin-slot as he squatted, and I headed to my car. I got back and his ill-fitted pants were, being stretched to their limits as he adjusted the lift point. I pumped the handle, laying on the pavement, and he went to get active with the tire. As he knelt, I heard, and saw, his crotch rip wide open, as everything fell out. It was not his day to be commando. His wonder-wand, and hot nuts dangled free in the breeze as it released a hot set of balls aroma, for my nostrils, and I was getting an eyeful from under the truck, before he could react. His reaction, was not expected. He, at first, didn't  hide his shame.(Not tha

Our High School Principal was modestly good-looking

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 Our High School Principal was modestly good-looking, well-admired by the students, even if sorta short.  All through High School, I thought of him as not even having a dick, he was "just an Older 'Dad' Guy." After all, all three of his daughters, the Taymor Triplets, were only in the 10th grade, and were Senior popular. Now, I wasn't experienced in dick categorization, and all, like after Boot Camp , because there, I discovered that Short men, in general, have substantial rods packin'.  (...There's  always exceptions, after all the well-hung Wagonner, was 6'1", yet, of the 80 guys, there wasn't a single guy, 5'9' or under, with less than a good 5-1/2" showing.) In fact it wasn't until our 10th Class reunion, that I saw the goods Mr. Taymor sported. Well, to be truthful, the Kiwanis BBQ lunch the week before, but, it was long ago, and long after school. Back in the day, Daryll  T. always wore a sport coat of authority until th

Rodeo Rubdown

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  I suppose I oughta mention, I was a standby, or relief, rodeo masseur....usually involved feeling those strong young bucks' back. When the primary masseur was booked up, I handled his client overflow. Also, I took the walk-ins, if any... The "available" sign was hanging on the door handle of my trailer. So I had to stop reading when I heard the door get pulled open. I was surprised to see a man climbing in, wearing rag-tag overalls and still in his clown makeup. (Okay, I know they prefer Bullfighting gear.)  "Doc says I got a pulled groin, n' that a whole-body massage might could help. I ain't had a massage in years." I addressed him with the standard greeting "Well, Howdy. Turn the sign. Lock the door. You can undress behind that screen, ...you'll find a hook for your clothes back there, too. Sign, and bring the form, with you" A moment later, an older, slim, massively hung and hairy sasquatch, was standing there, holding the paper form,